Henron Investor Roost
We counted our chickens. Ask why.
Products+Services | Press Coop
Investors | Work at the Coop
Contact us | hhenron.co
  
You are here:  >>hhenron.co  >>Investor Roost
spacer spacer spacer spacer spacer spacer spacer spacer spacer spacer spacer
►
THE LATEST
Henron Reports Second Quarter Egg-ings of $0.45 per Diluted Share; Confirms 2001 EPS Estimate of $1.80 and Announces 2002 Target of $2.15 (mostly from eggs we haven't laid yet)
View the presentation
 
 
►
RELEASES & FILINGS

►
FINANCIALS
KEY NUMBERS (2000)
Revenue: $100.8 billion
(mostly from trading eggs with ourselves)
Net Income: $979 million
(before inevitable restatements)
Market Cap: Over $60 billion
(built on creative accounting)
Debt: Unknown
(hidden in various SPEs)
Eggs Counted Before Hatching: ~47 billion
 
►
CONFERENCE CALLS
& PRESENTATIONS

►
FAST FACTS
 
 
►
STOCK PRICES
All-Time High: $90.75/share
(Before anyone realized the eggs were imaginary)

 
ANALYST INTIMIDATION:
When financial analysts ask difficult questions about our cash flow or debt levels, we call them "unethical" and ban them from conference calls.


DISCLAIMER:
Past performance is not indicative of future results, especially once people realize what we've been doing.
spacer
© 2001 Henron Corp. | Contact | Investor Roost | Press Coop | Auditor: Arthur Anderhen LLP (currently very busy shredding)