Henron Reports Second Quarter Egg-ings of $0.45 per Diluted Share; Confirms 2001 EPS
Estimate of $1.80 and Announces 2002 Target of $2.15 (mostly from eggs we haven't laid yet) View the presentation
KEY NUMBERS (2000)
Revenue: $100.8 billion
(mostly from trading eggs with ourselves)
Net Income: $979 million
(before inevitable restatements)
Market Cap: Over $60 billion
(built on creative accounting)
Debt: Unknown
(hidden in various SPEs)
Eggs Counted Before Hatching: ~47 billion
All-Time High: $90.75/share
(Before anyone realized the eggs were imaginary)
ANALYST INTIMIDATION:
When financial analysts ask difficult questions about our cash flow or debt levels,
we call them "unethical" and ban them from conference calls.
DISCLAIMER:
Past performance is not indicative of future results, especially once people
realize what we've been doing.